In pursuit of an internally consistent annihilation
If you wanna a documentary of me on acid.
Check out more of the director’s work here.
Are you lonely? Not in an insulting way or anything, I guess its the nature of a blog and Twitter, we see only that which you wish to portray. Still I dont know I perhaps the public persona is the lonely one and the real you that those closest to you is different. I don’t know how much the public you is the real you….I dont know I am rambling, was just my thought and question. I find the person presented interesting and yet I wonder how much the real person matches.
This was like an all too short poem for those who have been there and can relate to the experience — while those who haven’t been there will find their curiosity deepened. I appreciated your body language, sometimes LSD can be an overwhelmingly physical experience. I kept expecting to see one of those screaming fits you’ve described.
As I look towards a similar voyage in the next couple days, I’m a little less enthused because it will be in a festival atmosphere — which can be quite fun, as it can be with a group of friends. But I prefer the solo trip to reap the sacramental aspects of the experience.
Regarding bad trips, I’ve been fortunate not to experience the stereotypical delusions (bugs under my skin, cops at the door, I’m dying, etc.). But some time ago I was in the middle of a great trip (maybe around 250ug) and it suddenly flipped on me. The best way to describe the sensation would be claustrophobia. I suddenly felt afraid that I was trapped or lost and would have to spend the next several hours just trying to maintain — and not slip into nonsensical insanity. I suppose it’s what Hunter Thompson called The Fear. The physicality was certainly a contributing factor to the claustrophobia. I had to resist doing something nutty like calling a friend at 3AM just to talk. After a certain age, that’s a really difficult thing to justify without coming across like a major flake.
Since then, it’s happened a couple more times and I had to distract myself for a while, in a sense wasting the good experience in order to avoid a bad one. I’ve tried to rationalize where the anxiety was coming from — not having a problem free life of course — but I think I’m able to deal with life issues while tripping, or at least am able to put them off until tomorrow.
Have you experienced this kind of thing & how did you get through it?
PS. How did your castle soiree go? Was it blog-worthy?