Cheating As A Last Resort

When I was ass deep in sex(y) work, I heard a common story: “I’m married,” they said. “I love my wife more than anything, but we don’t really have sex anymore.” One guy (married), dipped his toe in after he found out he had terminal cancer. Another was a caretaker for his wife who had […]

Let’s Get Enlightened!

Let’s get enlightened! Let’s take it seriously. Cross your legs, pinch your fingers together, it helps. With enough effort, you too can attain nirvana, loss of all suffering, total peace. You might need to squeeze your eyes shut. Everything about this is Very Important and it is Very Important that you try very, very hard. […]

Are You Just Pushing The ‘Insight’ Button?

Psychedelics seem to crop up among the people and writings I’m interested in, and I’ve read your accounts of acid effects a few times now, the latest due to Jacob Falkovich’s recent essay. You describe feeling like you’re drinking raw truth from the universe’s faucet, which seems in line with many others’ experiences, with the […]

YOU WILL FORGET, YOU HAVE FORGOTTEN

In the beginning was the world, and the world was made of atoms, and the world was atoms. Truth Existed, as something objective and elusive, to which I could be closer or farther. With my first (good) acid trip, I was blown apart by beauty and purpose, and saw how much of a participant I […]

Side Effects Of Preferred Pronouns

I’m starting to dislike using preferred pronouns for nonbinary and genderqueer people. This is a really controversial thing to say my social circles, where many nonbinary and genderqueer people are my friends. To be clear, I still use preferred pronouns. I like doing things that make other people happy, especially if they care about it […]

Messages and Dreams

When I was a child, adults often didn’t treat me well. They didn’t seem to care about my feelings, would do things that made me really sad, and generally dismissed my experience of the world as less important, because I was a child – a fact they reminded me of constantly. I didn’t know how […]

Blame-Game Theory

Growing up, my world was complementarian, which is a fancy way of saying everyone was waaaaay too into gender roles. We viewed men as stronger, braver, and less prone to irrational emotions. They were the federal head; the point of representation for their families. I remember asking my mom why we were moving states if […]

Maximizing Your Slut Impact: An Overly Analytical Guide to Camgirling

Included: Picking a site, security, equipment, lighting/angles, business strategy, psychological tricks, types of camgirls and members, how to make sales, dealing with the emotional burden, taxes, networking, personal branding, marketing, and a few other things. My credentials: I was a camgirl for five years. My highest earning month was $50,000, and my highest rank (on […]

The Trauma Narrative

CW: Childhood abuse This is a post about my journey through and healing from trauma. I’m going to describe some things I’ve experienced that have induced trauma. Most of this is in Stage 1, so skip that section if you are sensitive to descriptions of childhood abuse. Stage 1. Initial Pain When I was a […]

Psychedelic Intensity Scale

“I took a tab” could mean anything – I’ve seen tabs with anywhere from 50ug-250ug. I’ve also seen a guy go completely delusional, divorced from reality, and then not remember anything afterwards on 300ug – while another guy, on the┬ásame dose with the same tabs, was completely lucid. And if you mix in other drug […]